Two weeks ago, my world hit a brick wall and flipped upside down. Everything I knew became unknown and I became lost. I no longer knew what to believe and the life that I had made for myself no longer felt right. I searched the night trying to find anything onto which I could hold just to keep from spinning. Sleep became undesired because dreams became unknown. Food lost its flavor and began to make me sick. Tears which have not touched my cheeks in years became like waterfalls and the heart which previously filled my chest began to get heavy and feel an indescribable amount of pain. A pain that was not only emotional, but physical as well. The relationship which I had started with another person became solitary.

I used to describe myself as a seed, floating away with the wind. Not belonging anywhere, but making openness my home. I have always worn a mask of strength and confidence, never needing anything from anyone. It was not until two weeks ago that I discovered how flawed that belief was. I have never flown on the wind. I have never been a seed. I have always held onto what I had before starting something new. I was afraid of drifting in the unknowns. Not knowing where I was going to sleep, what I was going to eat, or how I was going to pay bills terrified me. The masks I once donned became too heavy for me to bear.

Scott is a seed. He thrives on the unknown and turns everything into an adventure. He finds joy in everything and he does not allow the trivial matters of life to disarm him. He sees a sign and follows it; its destination unknown. He does not know what will happen next week, next month, next year, yet continues on with such determination. He touches every person he meets and makes everyone desire to be a better person.

I have become a different person, a better person. My sun has begun to shine amidst the darkest of storms and my eyes no longer see desperation. I still question my future. I still question my purpose. I still question my grip on stability, but I no longer run from it.

I have been broken. I have removed my masks. I have become the seed.